View Full Version : Chuck Norris Facts
We used to have one of these threads a while back. I thought it was entertaining. I just came across a good one today. Add whatever crazy posts about how Chuck Norris pwnz everything and everyone and can't be beaten ever. ;)
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself up; he's pushing the Earth down.
Newton's 3rd law states that for every action force there is an equal and opposite reaction force. This is wrong: there is no force in the universe equal to the force of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris is the only man known to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle: You can never know both were and how fast he will roundhouse kick you.
For those of you who don't get it, take chemistry
And stop with these. Most of them aren't any good anyways.
It's not chemistry slav, that principle is quantum mechanics which falls under physics :o)
how deep down the rabbit hole will you go?
those quantum physics stuff is just for those lightheaded hippie people though
man are those scientist mad but they might be right somehow
can't remember the movie about it :S
Muad'Dib15
17-07-07, 13:32
:spam:
It's not chemistry slav, that principle is quantum mechanics which falls under physics :o)
Meh. We did some quantum mech. in our chemistry class. Besides, I wrote that post before I went to bed. I had a long day :)
stealthkiller
17-07-07, 14:48
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Who the hell is chuck norris anyway, the guy really isnt that well heard of in the U.K.
Solid-Gangsta
17-07-07, 16:24
............... I fricken swear the barrens chat follows me where ever i go! .....:mad:
DispleasingSleeper
17-07-07, 18:01
Chuck Norris has the best poker face, ever. He once one the World Poker Championship with a two of clubs, a seven of diamonds, a joker, a get out of jail free card, and a blue five from Uno in his hand.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until they give him the information he wants.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he's actually pushing the world down.
Chuck Norris doesn't get frostbite, Chuck Norris bites frost.
Lol... these are really old, they were cool like two years ago. :rolleyes:
My dad actually loves them and got me a Chuck Norris jokes poster for Christmas that has like 20 of them.
Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Chuck Norris is able to make the sound of one hand clapping. The rest of humanity perceives this sound as a solar eclipse.
Chuck Norris knows the meaning of every word in the dictionary - except mercy.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris has two speeds, Walk and Kill.
DispleasingSleeper
17-07-07, 19:18
Chuck Norris doesnt teabag the ladies, he potato sacks them. :lol:
OK ya, so these are old. I was bored. So sue me.
Chuck Norris has the best poker face, ever. He once one the World Poker Championship with a two of clubs, a seven of diamonds, a joker, a get out of jail free card, and a blue five from Uno in his hand.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until they give him the information he wants.
Hadn't seen those before. Good ones! :clap:
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to swallow when eating food.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent
:clap: Thanks for adding some of these, even tho some of you expressed your disapproval of the 'lameness' etc. hehe.
Who the hell is chuck norris anyway, the guy really isnt that well heard of in the U.K.
He's an actor whose only appearance as a star was Walker, Texas Ranger(which really never did take off as a popular show). Then about 5 years after the show was canceled he randomly become a Big deal.......No one saw it coming.:rolleyes:
Muad'Dib15
22-07-07, 18:19
My dad knows a guy who knows Chuck personally. He (Chuck) was in Vietnam with one of my Dad's friends.
btw He can actually do about 70% of the facts that are written.
Every morning, Chuck Norris eats a bowl of diamonds for breakfast.
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